The Funniest & Best Tinder Chat up Lines



Some of you might be thinking: “Hey man, why do I have to use funny tinder chat up lines? Why cant I be myself and say hi?”. Well you can – if you want to be a virgin for the rest of your life. Joking. Anyway, I had this post ready for the first week of January but in my rush to party, I forgot to schedule it. Oh well. Since its approaching Valentines you can use this as inspiration (for getting laid obviously). If you’re in a relationship, you might want to check out these funny roses are red poems!

Amidst writing a super lame New Years post, I had a sudden urge to write something of superior quality – the best Tinder chat up lines. If you’re reading this today, hopefully you will be gearing up for another hangover from a heavy weekend of drinking. And, primarily because sober January has officially ended! Yes I did partake, for only a week though. Nonetheless, if I somehow do not survive the weekend – accept this gift posthumously in the form of an entertaining post about chat up lines for Tinder.

If you own an Amazon Echo be sure to download the “Chat up lines” app!

Tinder Fails

Chat up lines, or pick-up lines do not work. I guarantee the majority of males have tried to use them once or twice. Nonetheless, I personally find it amusing and very entertaining using them on Tinder. Do not ask why. Maybe its because I couldn’t care less what reaction or little/no response I receive. Plus, its a lot better than saying ‘Hi, how are you’. Then again, that seems to work for some of my mates. Though I doubt that they have used any these great Tinder chat up lines before when starting a conversation. Their fault not mine.

But, face it – small talk is extremely dull. Small talk is also unnecessarily awkward. In fact, you might as well drag your nuts over glass because that will be more enjoyable (please don’t). If however you are looking to get laid on Valentines then keep reading for the best tinder chat up lines I’ve personally used.

Anyway, in the real world if the first thing you drop is a chat up line; prepare for a capricious environment unfolding and a cringe-worthy glare. Essentially ruining your chances of talking to the specific male/female. With that being said, I’m not here to talk about the dynamics of using chat up lines. On the other hand, they seem to work for me on Tinder. If you’re an avid GoT fan check these Game of Thrones chat up lines used on Tinder.

The best Tinder chat up lines

Using the following Tinder chat up lines, probably wont get you laid immediately – conversely they might in the long run. Nonetheless, over the last few months on occasions I have sent a few chat up lines on Tinder. The majority of these chat up lines I’ve used aren’t new/original, and are probably floating around the web. Again, I hope that these are the best Tinder chat up lines you’ve ever seen. If they aren’t then the comment box is about 5,000 pixels below these images.

Chat up Line #1

 Chat up Line #2

 Chat up Line #3

 Chat up Line #4

Chat up Line #5

Chat up Line #6

Chat up Line #7

Chat up Line #8

Chat up Line #9

Chat up Line #10

Chat up Line #11

Chat up Line #12

Chat up Line #13

Chat up Line #14

Chat up Line #15

Text format of the Tinder chat up lines used for the copy and paste type of guys:

  1. Roses or daisies? I’m just wondering what to put in the casket, after I murder that pussy.
  2. You remind me of snow, because you make me 8 inches tall.
  3. Are you a cigarette? Because you’re smoking hot, and I want to put your butt in my mouth.
  4. If you were a zombie which part of me would you eat first?
  5. If you could build a ship which type of ship would it be? Mine would be a relationship.
  6. Do you have an inhaler? Because you have that ASS MA.
  7. Are you a beaver? Because damn.
  8. Do you have sunburn or are you always this hot?
  9. If you were my big toe I would bang you on every piece of furniture!
  10. You remind me of subway because you make me a foot long.
  11. The word of the day is legs. Want to go back to mine and spread the word?
  12. I lost my teddy bear, can I hug you instead.
  13. Do you want to do 68? You go down on me and I’ll owe you one.
  14. Are orphanage? Because I want to give you kids.
  15. I know black Friday just passed, but clothes are 100% off at my place.
  16. I’m a great swimmer can I demonstrate the breast stroke.
  17. I wish you were a door I would definitely slam you.
  18. I’d walk a million miles for one of your smiles. And, even further for that thing you do with your tongue.
  19. If you were a lolly I would be licking you all night!
  20. Are you Irish? Because my dick is Dublin.
  21. The only thing I want between our relationship is latex.
  22. Do you have ebola? Because your eyes are bleeding gorgeous.
  23. Are you a parking ticket? Because you have fine written all over you.
  24. My dick just died? So, I’m going to bury it in your ass.
  25. I might not go down in history. But, I will definitely go down on you.
  26. Are your parents bakers? Because they sure made you a cutie pie.
  27. My parents were cats. Because they made me purfect.
  28. Are you good with phones? I think there’s something wrong with mine! Oh yeah, its because I don’t have your number on it.
  29. You look familiar, I’m sure that we were in class together? I could have sworn we had chemistry.
  30. My mother told me to never look at pretty girls because I will turn into a statue. In fact, I can feel myself getting hard right now.
  31. Was your dad a drug dealer? Because you are dope.

Whats your best chat up lines?

I know that these are probably the best Tinder chat up lines you’ve ever seen. Plus, I even typed them up for those individuals too lazy to do so. If some of you are wondering, the overall response rate was 80% so 12/15 replied. If that isn’t enough evidence to give these funny pick up lines a try, then you’re definitely doomed.  Oh, and if these lines don’t work (pro tip) at least put your Instagram account in your bio for some free likes and followers from your matches. Please feel free to check out my Game of Thrones chat up lines, or my Christmas chat up lines.

If you enjoyed this post feel free to share on your social media channels, and make sure to check out my other latest mens lifestyle content and review of the Helly Hansen alpha jacket. There will be more Tinder posts following up from this one!

Thank you for reading

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