Was that an earthquake or did you just rock my work? I guarantee 99% of those reading this article; have heard some really bad chat up lines. In fact, I wager that we’ve all heard a pickup/chat up line that we’ve thought was awful and just outright shit! But, let’s be real – sometimes bad pickup lines are so horrendous they actually make us smile.
Did you know that a quarter of Britons use dating apps – even when they’re in a relationship. So the likelihood of you being signed up to one of the popular dating apps is extremely high. Dating apps have their added benefits, as a friend retorted: “You can sort out a date whilst taking a dump”. Dating apps ensure you’re visible even when you’re not in a social situation. For instance, I’m on my lunch break sitting in the office, trying to smash a report before end of play. Now, seeing as I haven’t left the office the probability of me meeting someone is tremendously low – however with these new dating apps I don’t need to worry.
The app market is saturated with millions of apps; nonetheless one notable app is Badoo. Unlike some of the other apps on the market, it isn’t riddled with spam bots. Badoo is a popular dating app available on iOS and Android. Whether you’re looking for friendship or dating it’s a great way to start chatting and meeting new people.
Do’s and Don’ts Using Badoo
If you’ve come here for horrendously bad chat up lines you’re in the right place. But, since you’re here I’m throwing over some exceptional dating tips for online dating.
- Update your profile: you don’t need to write an essay just add some info about yourself. Adding further info like height, eye-colour might actually help you gain responses.
- Get photo verified: it only takes a few seconds, but a lot of people don’t seem to bother. If you want to increase the chances of people messaging you do it straight away.
- Upload a few pictures: no pictures will probably mean no reply, make sure you upload a few pictures and avoid having only group pictures. Looking popular is great, but how does one decipher who you are.
- Be yourself: if he/she doesn’t like your personality over an app why will they like you in person. Excuse my French, but probably fucking not.
- Avoid sending messages at specific times: sending someone who isn’t online a message at 3am in comparison to 5pm won’t get you anywhere.
- Don’t be sleazy: sleazy guys/girls are just pure cringe. I prefer cringing for the person than replying to them.
- Don’t send multiple messages if that person hasn’t responded
- Don’t just write ‘hello’ or ‘hey’: instead write something witty, and funny. In fact, try one of these bad chat up lines. They’re comical and sure to make the other person laugh out loud.
What are chat up lines?
Chat-up lines, or pick-up lines are conversation openers. Usually they’re used to signify intent, and be a means of engaging an unfamiliar person. They can be used in person, or through dating apps and are humorous displays of romantic interest.
Bad, terrible, awful, and shit Chat up lines
Now, I’ve written some of my best chat up lines but what about those downright bad and just stupid chat up lines. Well look no further:
- Fuck me if I’m wrong have we met before?
- You remind of a wrench! Every time I see you my nuts tighten up.
- Is that a keg in your pants? Because I’d love to tap that ass.
- If you were a triangle, you’d be an acute one.
- Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore, because my face should be in-between them.
- Are you an archaeologist? Because I have a large bone that needs examining.
- If you were a door I would slam you all night long.
- If I flip a coin what are my chances of getting head?
- Do you live on a chicken farm, because you sure know how to raise a cock!
- Do you like Imagine Dragons? Because I imagine dragon my nuts across your face.
- What’s your favourite silverware? Because I like to spoon.
- Do you have a magnet in your pants? Because I’m attracted to you!
Pro-tip, if he/she doesn’t get your harmless humour they’re clearly not the one for you.
Thanks for reading, and enjoy these bad chat up lines.