In fact, feminist values do not contradict the desire to create a family. The main thing is to find a person who will share your beliefs. It does not matter whether she considers herself an uncompromising fighter for equality, or she has already reconciled with the idea that feminism doesn’t actually exist, equal partnership in relationship is the surest way to create a healthy family. The family model is laid in the very beginning of a life together. Here are some tips from vipbrides.com for those who want to be equal in a relationship.
- Focus on teamwork.
According to the family therapists, teamwork implies all that is necessary to manage relationships and family, and it doesn’t require getting into certain gender roles. For example, in a couple, a woman can manage the budget, and a man can be engaged in buying food and cooking. Anyway, you should communicate with each other and make an equal effort in a relationship. It’s not like the common model when a man only goes to work, and a woman combines a career with home affairs and raising children. An equal relationship demands a distribution of homework tasks so that each of you feels comfortable. Besides, decide what both of you are ready to do instead of the partner. For example, a woman can cook a dinner, and a man can wash dishes.
- Challenge traditional sex roles.
When it comes to everyday affairs like cleaning, cooking, paying bills, then it’s necessary to talk about what is best for each of you. In healthy relationships, couples have their own ways of expressing the sex roles, which do not always correspond to social standards. For example, if a woman hates sewing, she can ask a man to release her from this duty. Moreover, according to sex therapists, you should challenge gender roles in sex too. For example, a woman does not necessarily have to wait for a man to take the initiative in making love.
- Express your opinion.
Being equal in a relationship, people should not be afraid to tell about their desires, needs, and emotions. If your girlfriend behaves not the way you like when it comes to feelings, try to find an approach to her. Ask leading questions, share your experiences. If there is a more serious problem, offer to visit a psychotherapist, support her. Try not to judge your girlfriend for her thoughts, otherwise, she will stop trusting you.
- Be honest.
Always tell the truth because it affects your joint decisions. Frankness is more important than imaginary well-being. Try not to dodge, even if your words can offend, or you run the risk of ending a good evening with a quarrel. In addition, if you dream about an equal relationship, be sure that your voice matters to the partner. Of course, you, too, should not put aside their opinion. Anyway, you should remember that nothing stays buried forever, and if your partner finds out your secret, it will be difficult to earn their trust again.
- Discuss what each of you expects from the relationship.
Ideally, you need to do that from the very beginning. So, discuss the expectations of your relationship and the idea of what your couple should be like. Due to imposed social norms or the negative influence of parents, people start playing certain roles when they start living together. You should make conscious efforts to break the stereotypes and live as you feel comfortable. If you hate cooking, you should tell your girlfriend about that. She might have grown up in a family where the father adored cooking, and she believes that all men love and know how to cook by definition. Instead of trying to meet her expectations, be yourself and honestly say that the kitchen is not your territory.
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